I’ve spent most of my life being intensely unhappy.
Mental illness has robbed me of a lot of time. From depression to anxiety to Borderline Personality Disorder, my brain has put me through some serious shit.
Then recently, things took a turn, and for the first time in my life, I experienced complete and utter happiness. And it was scary.
That may sound weird. After so many years of being unhappy, why would being happy be scary?
Well, it was scary because I’d never experienced it before. It was scary because I was frightened of losing this feeling.
But slowly, as time goes on and the feeling hasn’t faded, I’m starting to let go of that fear and just enjoy the happiness.
Life is short; we aren’t guaranteed a tomorrow, so for now, I’m living for each beautiful, blissful day.
I’m living for my wonderful boyfriend, my adorable cats, my amazing family, my cosy little home.
But most of all, I’m finally living for me.
What makes you happy? Let me know in the comments.
Knowing my family are happy!
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I totally relate. Bad days are hard but good days are scary and anxiety-provoking. I keep waiting for the shoe to drop.
What makes me happy? My kids. Family. Binge-watching TV shows I’ve seen and loved; I recently bought the rebooted Battlestar Galactica series and watching it makes me smile.
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I can completely relate to this! Happiness feels foreign – unfamiliar. But like much discomfort, the longer I sit with it, the more I feel I am able to tolerate it, and in this case, even enjoy it ❤
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Exactly, Jill! I’m so glad you are enjoying some happiness!
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Same to you! xx
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This has made me smile so much. I’m really glad you’re happy. Long may it continue! 🙂
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Thank you, Ruth!
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