When you struggle with mental illness (like I do), it can be really difficult (if not impossible) to think about the future, because to be totally honest, everything seems pointless. Also, those of us who experience suicidal ideation often can’t see a future for ourselves because we’re not even sure we’re going to make it much further.
So, sitting down to do this task was difficult. I’ve spent so long being depressed and not being able to look into my future and think about what I want out of life, but I know that it’s going to be a huge part of my recovery – having hopes and dreams, setting goals, and believing in myself.
It took a while, but I managed to put together a list of my hopes and dreams for the future. No matter how impossible they seem to me now, I’ve put them down anyway, in the hope that if I keep telling myself what my goals are, I might start to believe I can actually do it.
1. Finish my MSc
A couple of years ago, I signed up to do my MSc in Psychology (part-time, whilst working full-time), and I completed 60 credits before I burnt out and couldn’t continue. So I cashed out at the Postgraduate Certificate level, and I’m glad I did, because there’s no way I could have carried on coping with both studying and working at that time. However, I do feel some disappointment that I didn’t finish what I started, so when I’m better, I’d love to go back and finish the full MSc if I can.
2. Write a book
I’ve always wanted to write a book, and I’ve started many, but one of my big life goals is to finish and publish a book. I’m not in the right place health-wise to do that at the moment, but it’s one that I really, really want to achieve at some point in my life.
3. Find a life partner
Those of you who follow me on Twitter will know that I have mentioned a couple of times (ahem…) that I am chronically single. I would like to find someone with whom I can journey through life. Plus, I’ve got a whole Pinterest board of wedding dresses and I really don’t want to have wasted all that time putting together my ideas.
4. Go on a road trip around Europe
There are so many places in Europe that I want to see, and I think it would be really cool to get a camper van, pack up my kitties, and take off on the road. Obviously I would like to do this with someone else, so hopefully the life partner bit will come first!
5. Live next to a lake
My dream house is a cabin next to a lake, so if I ever have enough money to buy my own cabin (unlikely, but hey), that’s where you’ll find me. Except don’t come to find me. I’m not a sociable person.
What are your hopes and dreams? Let me know in the comments!